How to Help Someone with Anxiety?

Anxiety is a common mental health issue that many people experience at some point in their lives. It can manifest in various ways, including feelings of worry, fear, and unease. When someone we care about is experiencing anxiety, it’s natural to want to help them feel better. However, it’s essential to understand that while we can’t “fix” someone’s anxiety, we can offer support and assistance in managing it. 

During an anxiety attack, our immediate goal should be to help the person feel safe and comfortable. Although we can’t make the anxiety disappear, our support can make a significant difference in how they cope with it. Let’s explore some effective ways to help someone who is struggling with anxiety.

What to do When Someone is Having a Panic Attack?

When someone is having a panic attack, it can be a frightening and overwhelming experience for them. If you find yourself in a situation where you need to help someone during a panic attack, here are some steps you can take:

1. Stay Calm

It’s essential to remain calm yourself, as your calmness can help reassure the person experiencing the panic attack. Take a deep breath and try to speak in a soothing and gentle tone. Remember, panic attacks are temporary and will pass.

2. Offer Reassurance

Let the person know that you are there for them and that they are safe. Reassure them that what they are experiencing is temporary and will pass. Simple statements like “I’m here with you” or “You’re going to be okay” can be comforting. Avoid minimizing their experience or telling them to “calm down,” as this can make them feel invalidated.

3. Encourage Deep Breathing

Guide the person to take slow, deep breaths. Breathing exercises can help to calm the body’s stress response. Encourage them to inhale slowly through their nose for a count of four, hold their breath for a count of four, and then exhale slowly through their mouth for a count of four. Repeat this several times until they begin to feel calmer. You can do the breathing exercises with them to help them regulate their breathing.

4. Create a Safe Environment

If possible, move to a quiet and calm environment. Reduce sensory input by dimming lights or finding a quieter space to help the person feel more at ease. If they are comfortable with physical contact, you can offer a gentle hug or hold their hand to provide additional comfort and support. Avoid crowded or noisy areas, as these can exacerbate feelings of panic.

5. Stay with Them 

It’s essential to stay with the person until the panic attack subsides. Let them know that they are not alone and that you are there to support them. Avoid leaving them by themselves, as this can increase their feelings of panic and isolation. After the panic attack has passed, check in with them to see how they are feeling and offer continued support if needed.

How to Distract Yourself During a Panic Attack?

During a panic attack, distracting yourself can be a powerful tool to regain control. Focus on your senses – find a visually interesting detail, listen intently to a sound, smell something strong, or taste something specific. This grounds you in the present. Engage your mind with counting exercises, reciting something calming, or a mental game. 

Bodily engagement can also help – doodling, fidgeting with an object, or progressive muscle relaxation can distract you. If you can, change your environment by stepping outside, splashing cold water on your face, or finding a quiet space. Experiment beforehand to discover what works best for you. 

Remember, relaxation techniques like deep breathing practiced regularly can reduce the frequency and intensity of panic attacks. If you’re struggling, seeking professional help from a therapist can equip you with coping mechanisms and a personalized treatment plan to manage your anxiety.

How to Help Someone Having a Panic Attack - 8 Tips

When someone you care about is having a panic attack, it’s natural to want to help them feel better. Here are eight tips to help you support someone who is experiencing a panic attack:

1. Stay Calm

Seeing someone you care about having a panic attack can be distressing, but it’s crucial to remain calm. Your calmness can help reassure the person experiencing the panic attack. Take a deep breath and try to speak in a soothing and gentle tone. Remember, panic attacks are temporary and will pass.

2. Offer Reassurance

Let the person know that they are safe and that the panic attack will pass. Reassure them that what they are experiencing is temporary and that they are not alone. Simple statements like “I’m here with you” or “You’re going to be okay” can be very comforting. Avoid minimizing their experience or telling them to “calm down,” as this can make them feel invalidated.

3. Encourage Deep Breathing

Guide the person to take slow, deep breaths to help calm their body’s stress response. Breathing exercises can help regulate the body’s autonomic nervous system and reduce the intensity of the panic attack. Encourage them to inhale slowly through their nose for a count of four, hold their breath for a count of four, and then exhale slowly through their mouth for a count of four. Repeat this several times until they begin to feel calmer.

4. Create a Safe Environment

If possible, move to a quiet and calm environment to reduce sensory input. Loud noises, bright lights, and crowded spaces can exacerbate feelings of panic. Find a quiet space where the person can sit or lie down comfortably. Dim the lights if necessary and speak softly to help create a sense of safety and calm.

5. Stay with Them

Remain with the person until the panic attack subsides, offering your support and reassurance. Let them know that they are not alone and that you are there to help them through it. Avoid leaving them by themselves, as this can increase feelings of panic and isolation. Stay with them until they begin to feel better, and check in with them afterward to see how they are feeling.

6. Avoid Minimizing Their Experience

Validate their feelings and avoid telling them to “calm down” or “stop overreacting.” Panic attacks are real and can be extremely distressing for the person experiencing them. Let them know that it’s okay to feel anxious and that you are there to support them. Listen to what they have to say without judgment and offer your reassurance and support.

7. Use Distraction Techniques

Help the person focus on something other than the panic attack by using distraction techniques. Encourage them to engage in activities that require focus and concentration, such as counting backward from 100 in multiples of three, reciting a poem or song lyrics, or doing simple math problems in their head. Alternatively, you can help them focus on their breathing by guiding them through deep breathing exercises.

8. Encourage Professional Help

If panic attacks are frequent or severe, encourage the person to seek help from a therapist or counselor who can provide them with additional support and coping strategies. Offer to help them find a mental health professional in their area and accompany them to their appointments if needed. Remember, it’s essential for the person to seek professional help if they are struggling to manage their panic attacks on their own.

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Comforting Words for Someone with Anxiety

Offering comforting words to someone with anxiety can provide much-needed support and reassurance during difficult times. Here are some brief yet meaningful phrases you can use to show your support:

  • You’re not alone.
  • I believe in you.
  • You’re stronger than you know.
  • I’m here for you.
  • Take it one step at a time.
  • You’re doing great.
  • It’s okay to feel anxious.
  • You’re loved and valued.

These simple phrases can convey empathy, understanding, and encouragement to someone experiencing anxiety, reminding them that they are not alone in their struggles.

What is the 3-3-3 Rule for Anxiety?

The 3-3-3 rule is a simple grounding technique used to manage anxiety in the moment. It helps shift your focus away from anxious thoughts and bring your awareness to the present moment by engaging your senses. Here’s how it works:

  • 3 Things You See: Look around your environment and name three things you can see. Notice details like color, shape, or texture.
  • 3 Things You Hear: Focus on your hearing and identify three sounds you can hear. It could be traffic noise, birds chirping, or even your own breath.
  • 3 Body Parts You Move: Move three different parts of your body. Wiggle your toes, clench and unclench your fists, or take a deep breath and slowly release it.

By focusing on these three categories, you bring your attention back to the present moment and interrupt the cycle of anxious thoughts. It’s a quick and easy technique you can use almost anywhere to help manage anxiety.

What Helps with Severe Anxiety?

Severe anxiety can be debilitating, but there are effective ways to manage it and improve your quality of life. Here’s a breakdown of key approaches:

  • Professional Help: A therapist can be a vital resource. They can provide therapy techniques like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to address negative thought patterns and develop coping mechanisms. In some cases, medication may also be recommended by a psychiatrist or doctor to help manage anxiety symptoms.

  • Lifestyle Changes: Certain lifestyle habits can significantly impact anxiety. Regularly practicing relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation can help reduce overall stress levels. Getting enough sleep, maintaining a healthy diet, and exercising regularly are also crucial for managing anxiety.

  • Self-Soothing Techniques: For immediate relief during anxious moments, self-soothing techniques can be very helpful. The 3-3-3 rule, focusing on your senses, progressive muscle relaxation, and mindfulness exercises can all help ground you in the present moment and distract you from anxious thoughts.

  • Support System: Having a strong support network of friends, family, or a therapist can be incredibly beneficial. Talking openly about your anxiety and having people who understand and support you can make a big difference.

Closing Note

Supporting someone with anxiety requires patience, understanding, and empathy. By offering reassurance, practicing active listening, and encouraging professional help when needed, you can provide valuable support to your loved one as they navigate their anxiety. Remember, your presence and support can make a significant difference in their journey toward managing their anxiety effectively.

Dr. Lubna Siddiki MD
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Dr. Lubna Siddiki MD
Dr. Lubna Siddiki is a board-certified Adult Psychiatrist. She specializes in treating adults struggling with various mental health disorders, including depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and more. Dr. Siddiki believes in a holistic approach to mental health treatment and works closely with her patients to develop personalized treatment plans that focus on their overall well-being. She is dedicated to helping individuals improve their behavioral health and lead fulfilling lives.